Shame about your face dad

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A graphic pictoral reconstruction of our recent goose attack

One of the best things about having young kids is training them to do stuff for you. That much is a given – Pass me the paper, get my car keys, fetch me another beer out the fridge and so on.

But I suppose there are only so many things that need to be fetched or carried so once you’ve got past that what is there?

Endless questions that’s what.

It can often feel like mastermind or a black opps interrogation but sometimes these questions can throw up a bit of comedy gold that can be ample reward for all the sleepless nights, grey hairs and savaged bank balances.

I started tweeting some of the more obscure ones under the hashtag #quotesfroma4yearold and got responses from all over the world.

If you can answer these examples from my own experience (fully and without hesitation or repetition) then you’re a better man than me:

•What are teeth?

•Are we real?

•What happens when we die?

•Why do sharks wear lipstick?

•Where was I before I was born?

•Are you back to the daily grime now daddy?

•Daddy why don’t you ever let mummy drive?

•What is gossip?

•Daddy, do prawns have babies?

Sometimes it’s not even a question, it can just be a totally random comment like:

•Daddy your car smells like the computer room at school.

•Daddy it’s such a same about your face.

•All the dinosaurs died and turned into cars.

•Daddy your hair looks like an ice cream.

•Mummy is a crazy woman

•Daddy can you remember when you didn’t have babies?

•Well……you’re not enchanted with magical power

•You should have just had one child daddy.

•When will I be 5? And why’s it taking so long?

•The best part of cooking is scoffing it all up dad

•Daddy if you want to play dressy ups we’re going to need much bigger costumes

•Why you got pink on? Boys can’t wear pink, just girls.

•When I’m 8 can we live in DisneyLand?

•Daddy your shoes look good. Like Ken’s from Barbie

•When I grow up I’ll never tell anyone off

•Daddy you smell of the olden days (In my defence I’d just spent all day chopping down a 70 ft tree).

To misquote the Simpsons, the sooner they can talk, the sooner they can talk back – and say hilarious stuff.

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14 thoughts on “Shame about your face dad

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